Spare a thought for the working Dads

A “gender-equal society” is a “society in which both men and women, as equal members, have the opportunity to participate in all kinds of social activities at will, equally enjoy political, economical and cultural benefits, and share responsibilities.” In such a society, the human rights of men and women are equally respected.

-http://www.gender.go.jp/english_contents/about_danjo/toward/society/

Gender equality is something that is currently being forced in our faces and down our throats by the media; in this fat man’s humble opinion, this is not a bad thing. A Woman can do anything a Man and do, just as a Man can do anything a Woman can do (biology excluding). This is something that whilst raising my Son, I will instil into him, so that maybe in his generation, this ideal comes to fruition.

However, I cannot help but notice, nor can I continue to ignore that it’s an unfair place for Men in certain circles. Being a parent and an avid user of Facebook, I have subscribed to a number of parenting sites to give me ideas on food, health, activities and other information from my peers about being the best parent I can.

Have I read any articles from these Facebook pages about amazing working Dads? Simply put; no I haven’t. So this article goes to attempt to solve that.

Since my Son’s mother and I parted ways, we enjoy a 50/50 custody arrangement – which is amazing. This means that in turn, we’re both single parents. My having a full time job, means that, by extrapolation, I’m a Single working Dad and thus puts me in the same class as “Supermum.”

So let me tell you something about being a 28 year old, single, father of one, whilst working in an executive position for an international company.

Off week: the week that I don’t have my boy, the week that he’s with his Mother. During this week, I will work on average 65 hours in the office and probably another 10-15 from home. This is quite easy as all I have to look out for is myself and my furry Son Rocky.

On week: contrary, the week I have my boy. The sum of hours to not change; such is the demand of my job. As a single, working Dad I must find these hours externally to him. I must fit in somewhere between;

  • Waking him up
  • Breakfast
  • Dressing
  • Taking to day care
  • Working my 8 hours in the office
  • Traffic
  • Picking him up from day care
  • Creating meals that are considered edible by the tiny Frank Bruni
  • Playing
  • Bath time
  • Dressing for bed
  • Story time, and finally
  • Marching him back to his bed for the 4th time because he’s “Not tired in my bed, only tired in Daddy’s bed”

I’m not complaining, I mean these on weeks are a joy – a gift. His presence is electric and have resulted in a couple of missed deadlines because spending time with him is not only better, but way more fun!

This however, does take its toll. My workload doesn’t care when he was teething, nor when he has a stomach ache, bad dream or generally wants to be a rat bag. So yeah, it is very hard sometimes to deal with this other person that is reliant on you for almost everything. But the thing is, what sets apart a Mother from a Mum, a Father from a Dad is that internal switch that gets flicked when we see the little people for the first time. That mental kick in the guts, the call to action.

For this post, I want to leave a call for action to you; the people whom are reading this. I have no evidence backing this claim up, however; for every one single Mum you see or know battling to get it done and not totally fuck it all up – there’s a single Dad out there doing the exact same thing – and it’s hard.

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